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A small reward, for them, compared to the inestimable value of this marvelous stone. But for me, more than I had dreamed of for many years. I would get my freedom back!What would I do with it? To be free — what a wonderful thought! But when I tried to enjoy it, tried to think of the future that lay ahead of me now, tried to envision all the possibilities that I would have once I was a free woman again, my imagination, as well as my rational mind, failed me. What would I really want to do, who would I really want to be? And what of this could I actually hope to achieve? And how? A ceaseless procession of unfocused images of future me's swirled before my eyes in the dark, until my head swirled with them, disoriented and confused.With an effort of will I stopped those racing thoughts. There would be time enough to think them slowly and carefully in the forthcoming months. To calm down I tried to masturbate, but it made the cut across my vulva hurt and even to start bleeding again, so I. In fact, I was only four when my family moved into our house and I was so preoccupied with checking out every nook and cranny of the new house and the massive back yard that I didn't pay any attention to anything outside of our immediate area for most of the next two years.By then, I was starting school. I might not have noticed Janie Hill even then except that she often made me wait behind her to get on or off the school bus. She didn't speak to me and I didn't speak to her. Good heavens! She was a girl! I couldn't speak to a girl!Somewhere along there in those early days of school, I began to realize that Janie was the only kid in my neighborhood that was my age. The closest kid of my age lived seven blocks away, far beyond my allowable roaming area. Heck, my only sibling, a sister, was four years older than me and she had her own special friends. All we did together was argue. With my mom and dad both working, I was placed in the charge of my sis and I hated to take orders from.
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