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Maybe I'd discover that excessive fat on her belly orher thighs that she'd never noticed before because there wasn'tany? That, I was pretty sure, was what was on her mind as shewithdrew herself from me despite herself. We'd both be exhausted by the time I kissed her nose and rolled offher. Not because of passionate excess or orgasmic bliss, butbecause her lovemaking was always ... edgy, one long ordeal ofself-doubt. More exhausting than satisfying. Unsure. Tentative. All the while I was trying to fuck her she'd peer at me, worryingwhether I wanted her moving or still, whether her legs shouldstretch straight down or wrap more tightly around me. I'd assureher it didn't matter, I didn't care, I wanted her to forget herselfand just go with the flow, take it as it was, surrender to herself,her feelings, good enough was more than enough, we should justenjoy each other. But even when she believed me she didn't believeme. Talking did no good. Finally, a few months into our marriage,. Ms. McNair out-did herself in her venomous outbursts and she didn't sound like she was sober. She worked herself up so much that her fat face got dark red, and I started to worry about her health.I worried more about Fran, though, and tried to be as diplomatic as possible. "I think you are misunderstanding the nature of our relationship Ms. McNair," I tried - in retrospect much too convoluted. I had another go: "Fran and I love each other, but our relationship is not physical." Better perhaps, if not strictly true - unless you apply a bit of Bill Clinton logic, but close enough to counter her vulgar suggestions.She would have none of it. "Yeah, right. You spend the night doing scrabble, I suppose?" No Ms. McNair," I replied. "We spent the night cuddling and sleeping." Yeah, right!" she smirked. "And you paid her for it!" I did not, and you know it!" I replied - stung and starting to get angry."Well, I didn't buy the slut's outfit and she didn't pay for it herself either," she.
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