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I hated having long hair, and hated it when it blew around my face,and then started on my makeup. I really was unsure what to do with mymakeup, did I trowel it on in an attempt to look prettier for Melissa,or did I keep it minimal and less feminine? In the end I decided forsomething in between, as I knew I would probably reapply it when Ifinished work so that I looked fresh.As I applied the third and final coat of mascara onto my long fakelashes, and finished adding the lip gloss to my light pink full lips,the reflection that stared back at me was as far removed from the 17year teenage boy I wanted to see staring back as was possible. Igrabbed my large black shoulder bag I took to work and startedstocking it with everything i would need, makeup, tissues, perfume, mycigarettes and lighter, femfresh, and a spare pair of panties that Ialways carried now incase my horniness got out of control. Everysingle item was a horrible reminder of this unwanted female body I nowoccupied. I walked. ." Okay." I didn't really want to think about my mom having sex, but I had to know. "What if he hadn't, um, come back or whatever?" If he'd dumped me?" she grinned and I nodded."Yeah, dumped you." I had to laugh cause the idea of my dad dumping my mom was really out there."I don't think about that," Mom said. "I worried about it for one whole night and the next morning, there he was. Telling me how he loved me more than ever and then I couldn't get him to stop saying it." That's pretty cool," I decided."Yeah, it was," she agreed. "But that doesn't mean you should do it that way." Me?" I swallowed hard and wondered if she meant with Dan, or with a girl, and I was really afraid that she'd tell me."There's better ways than having sex to find out if someone really loves you," Mom said. "I wasn't very smart about it and your father, well, I think he was doing the same thing." What? Like testing you?" Yeah," she nodded. "He figured if I let him ... love me ... then that meant I really loved.
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