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I wasn't a transvestite, who would get sexual pleasure fromdressing as a woman, but had no desire to be one. No, I was atransgender. I wanted to be a woman. To live as one. To dress as one. Tobe treated as one. Maybe even find a nice boy who would love me as one.All the support sites had one thing in common: they urged alltranspeople to come to grips with their lifestyle as early as possible.The longer you waited, the harder it would be to have the life youwanted.I wanted to tell my mom. I wanted to blurt it out that I wasn't a boy,that some accident of nature had stuck me in the wrong body. That Iwanted to wear dresses and makeup from now on. That I would still be thesame person, just of a different gender. But I knew I could never tell.After losing her husband, I couldn't heap one more tragedy on the headof the woman who had raised me. No, I knew I would have to suffer insilence forever.I did dress in secret, though. Whenever my mother was gone I would slipdown to the laundry room,. " If you need anything from me just holler."She kissed Tommy on the forehead and left the room.Tommy got out of bed and looked over her clothes. She was wondering whyshe didn't even try to argue with her mom but she thought it was fromthe shock of the situation. She realized her clothes she wore wouldn'tdo. Although she was afraid, she removed her top. Her breast hungfree. She felt the cool air against them and shivered, making hernipples hard. She blushed when she realized what her body was doing.She walked over to her dresser. She was surprised to find some bras inher top drawer. Knowing that this didn't make sense, she looked aroundthe room and then realized it was completely different than sheremembered it. Her walls were painted a light pink. Her bed wascovered in a white lacy comforter. Her curtains were white and frillywith pink hearts in them. Her dresser was the same pink as the walls.She noticed she had a vanity with makeup and other beauty supplies onit. Her.
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