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No, I didn't touch myself or anything, and for a long time it didn't seem to be arousing me. I did sometimes recall moments from the scene, the pretty woman losing herself to sensation. And finally, I did start to feel the need to touch myself, and then came the time I realized my hands had been "sneaking" over my body.And that brought me up short. I admitted my obsession to myself and began to wonder what it meant. And wondered who I could possibly talk with about the whole thing. I found myself afraid to watch it again.Theresa was no good. How do you tell your best girlfriend that you're wondering if you're lesbian? Mom--impossible. I found myself wishing I'd had a sister yet wondered if that would have solved my problem. I guess it was inevitable that I should think of Steve.You see, we'd managed the impossible. We'd broken up amicably, realizing we weren't right for each other, then stayed friends afterwards. We didn't hang out or anything other than seeing a movie together a. The dramatic designer clothes were still very much in evidence andher style or finish, was as polished as I remembered. Her long nails wereimmaculate; her thick long hair was beautifully done while her make-upwas flawless.There wasn't the slightest trace remaining to indicate the early part ofher life. I suppose her ability to act and operate so naturally in afeminine way was clearly demonstrated because my wife had no idea at thattime that she wasn't born in her present state.In fact I tried to suggest to Liz in a private moment that I reallywondered if Elisabeth's story of her early life was actually real. Mywife questioned my comment and asked what made me doubt Elisabeth's lifestory that she'd told us about. She couldn't believe it when I eventuallytold her later of our German friend's past.I had no doubts as Elisabeth had eagerly fetched from her briefcase herfirst original passport and it clearly showed that her birth gender wasdifferent. She told me that she didn't think I'd.
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