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”“Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early...”“I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.” (from an Australian claim form)“The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.”“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”“I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.”Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?A: Travelled by bus?The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were -Q: What warning was given by you?A: Horn.Q: What warning was given by the other party?A: Moo.“I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This. And there was a lot of name calling.’ ‘Forty years ago infidelity was a much weightier factor in divorces, and she got very little. Child support, a small cash settlement, and alimony for a year. Many thought she got much more than she deserved.’ ‘She begged him for another chance, but he was adamant. He no longer trusted her, so how could he love her. They may have had a chance at reconciliation until he found out she had her tubes tied.’ ”The doctor let the information slip out of spite.He didn’t lose his medical license, but it was a close thing. The medical board let him keep his it, mostly so he could support his children. He got raped in the divorce.’ ‘When Eric found out she had ‘gotten fixed’ without his knowledge, it killed what little chance she had of getting him back.’ ‘It turned her into a bitter, hard woman. She played games with him, denying him the children as often as possible, asking for more money, saying the children needed things she couldn’t provide. He.
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