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Halfthe time I felt like she thought I was a girl."Is that what you want?" she asked me. Frustrated, I sighed. My mom hadasked me that question way too often. Moms weren't supposed to ask theirsons if they wanted to be girls, right?Sighing, I tried to put my thoughts together. "I don't know," I told hertruthfully. This had been on my mind for years now, ever since theaccident. Lately, the issue seemed to be coming up more and more often. Iknew that growing out my hair and wearing androgynous clothes would leadme to this point repeatedly, but it was still a big decision. I had beenseeing a therapist for a few years, and I was not sure if I would havedone it if she didn't think it was such a good idea."I promised Mary that I would try it. Maybe this is a good time," Iexplained. Mary was my therapist. She often said that if I was trulygoing to make an informed decision, I needed to know how both sideslived. "Honey," my mom said with deep concern. "I don't know if this is exactlynormal.. They were your typical homophobic scum. The kind of filth that Charles Bronson dealt with in the Death Wish movies and the kind of scum previous me didn't have the guts or the know-how to avoid. I thought to myself, Not tonight boys. Not ever."Let's go to our quiet spot," I whispered softly to her.She seemed surprised. "Last time we went you said you weren't ready."I had said I wasn't ready previously, and ever since then, I had been pretty sure that, had I not, things would be different. Much different."I'm more than ready," I said as I directed her hand between my legs so she could feel the damp warmth of my shorts.Her smile lit up like a thousand fireworks in the night and we skated off the rink and changed into our Converse's and headed towards the backdoor.We broke out into the cold air of the night and made our way down the alley.We kissed hard and deep, the intensity almost burning me, yet making me shiver at the same time. But my shivering wasn't just because of the kiss. I.
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