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"I know what comes next. "Sir," says Hurley, "turn around and put your hands behind your back."And there I am, in the dining room of a Louisiana restaurant, in handcuffs. They perform a similar operation on the doofus and have a lot more fun with him, retrieving a little black automatic pistol from his pants pocket. Yeah. The pocket he was reaching into. Now he's in cuffs, too, and they're marching all four of us, me, the doofus, the middle-aged chick, and the teen girl, all of us, out into the parking lot. Now comes the fun part, where they try to unravel the story.The waitress is out there too. And half the clientele, apparently regulars. And if you're a regular at a small town diner, you also get pretty familiar with the cops, so nobody was getting run off. They were the witnesses.They started with the girl. Deputy Hurley asked, "Miss, do you have some ID?" I-in my purse," she sniffled. "It's at the table."Hurley spoke to one old guy standing nearby. "Unka Bob, can you get this. ” Jan nodded and held out her free hand toward the kitchen table and chairs, indicating that they should sit.“Okay, so spill it,” Jan said with a determined grin as they sat down across from each other. “What has you so distracted this evening that I can’t even get you even to feel me up; much less have another pleasant fuck?”Matt puffed out a breath before he spoke.“You may not be aware of this, Jan,” Matt began, “but I have begun seeing someone socially over the past few months and we have recently become ... intimate.”“Oh?” Jan asked, surprising Matt somewhat by being excited rather than offended by his comment. “And just who is the lucky lady? Or, since this is Vermont, the lucky guy?” Knowing very well that Matt was all hetero, Jan chuckled at the moue expression Matt made with his mouth.“Ha ... ha ... ha,” Matt said before joining Jan in a short laugh as they settled more into the conversational mode. He noted that his love instrument lost all of its firmness as they spoke.“I.
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