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He didn’t know if she noticed or it bothered her or anything. He did know that even if she had no idea of anything beyond the kiss, his erection poking at her would certainly have proclaimed to her what was on his mind. ‘Nice going, Tim!’ he said to himself, trying in the end to not be too chagrined about it all. These thoughts were what his week was made up of. He still didn’t have her phone number and couldn’t get in touch with her, except to go visit her but was determined to ‘be cool’ and not go charging there to see what was the reality of the situation. He hoped, hope upon hope, that he’d know what to do, when he saw her next week, for he wasn’t sure what her reaction was going to be, when he got there. ‘Unless,’ he reasoned, ‘She decides not to see me at all, and lets me know that somehow.’ And that thought was a panic producing one all by itself. Tim occupied himself for the rest of that week, up to the weekend, with such an endless round of speculation produced by that one. He smiled but he could hardly see his lips unless he opened his mouth. He opened his mouth wide, pushed his moustache up and beard away so he could examine his teeth. Still good. He still had a fetish for certain things like brushing and flossing his teeth diligently before going to bed, and every morning after he woke up. Unless he was so pissed drunk the night before that he forgot to do his usual dental hygiene and just flopped down the bed and snored away. Now came the most difficult part, that was to face his ugliness, to see his scarred hands and fingers. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath to calm himself. He opened his eyes again and very slowly began to pull off his gloves one finger at a time. As his scarred hands came into view his heart began to beat faster. Not that he hadn’t seen his scarred hands before but tonight he wanted to examine them real close. He wanted to face his ugly, scarred and ‘pinkyless’ hands without hating them, without going into a.
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