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But my mouth remains immobilized in a wide-open position. I am kept awake for longer periods, Natalie feeds me soups and puddings, not easy with my mouth clamped open. In time I learn to swallow that way if small portions of soft foods and placed in my mouth. Sometime they come in to look me over, sometimes I’m left alone with my thoughts, and those are most unpleasant times. I still have no idea what has happened to me, but all the possibilities terrify me. I cry often, scream sometimes (although it comes out as a small, shrill squeal . . . an animal sound to my ears). I really try NOT to think, and am sometimes successful in that, just emptying my mind and ?being?. When I do ?think? and wonder the thoughts are so awful that I must try hard to push them out of my mind. I feel no pain anymore, although I am still unable to move, speak or close my mouth.At some point Mimi, a woman we know who is a tattoo artist and piercer comes to see me along with Debra and Suzanne. She stands. Marcus groaned theatrically."I may have been wrong about it being under control," he said. "If it should break free, save yourself, my darling, leave me to fight it alone."This sent me into helpless laughter, only easing after more wine was poured. I was growing hornier by the minute."Anyway, this is a private yard," Marcus stated. "If it grows too much, I can always remove my shorts, so they at least will survive." That is a coincidence," I told him, "I was just thinking of removing mine."We grinned at each other."If you need any help with the bows," he announced, "I am at your service." Thank you, kind sir," I replied, and stood up, arms outstretched to the sides.He came over eagerly, kneeling in front of me with hands on my hips, and used his teeth to tease one bow free, holding the flimsy fabric in place with a thumb, while he turned his attention, and teeth, to the second bow. This one came free, and he let the scrap of material fall to the floor.I could feel his warm breath on.
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