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I thought the feelings I had inside would change once we were able to go further with our relationship. We went through the typical stages of teenage courtship, stolen kisses with hands that sneaked under t-shirts or groped through shorts. We always felt hot after a night of discovering each other’s bodies. Jack would leave me each night with a large lump in his jeans while I was curious to know how my body would react to him. When we both were seventeen, we took a camping trip with some friends. That night in the tent we fumbled around naively. Jack entered me, and the act was over before we knew what happened. We chalked it up to inexperience. I didn’t feel overly turned on and didn’t understand my non-reaction. We did it a few more times that summer, eventually Jack felt like he was experienced in lovemaking and could last longer than that first time. I could never tell him that I just didn’t feel what he felt. My body reacted to the stimulation, but it was never mind-blowing. The. There was no underlying desire to take advantage of her vulnerability or to humiliate her. (as mentioned before, Anna had also been a little bit surprised and even insulted by that lack of interest; deep down she expected to be more desirable... ) On the other hand, some of the half-apes looked like they would fuck girls straight into hospital without even raising an eyebrow. Rashid may have been a total creep, but in a way Anna was glad that this clearly professional man was around when the primitive brutes played a part in her drama. At least he seemed to have them under control. Admittedly, that was the *only* positive thing she could say about that Taliban-turd.All this brain activity didn't change a thing about her precarious situation. But at least thinking through different scenarios gave her SOME illusion of control. Much needed control in an adventure in which she had been effectively reduced to a passive object thus far. Hopefully, that phase was past her from now on... The.
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